I don’t like this last Mandala. At the start, I liked how it was progressing, and there is some part of it that I still like, but a mistake and a direction I didn’t like or consciously choose ruined everything in my eyes.
I made it, I spent time on it and finish it and I don’t like it but I’m accepting it. I accept that sometimes I make mistakes I cannot cover and that the more I try to fix them and cover them the more they seem to become evident. Before acceptance, sometimes I let the fear of not being able to recover my mistakes to grow, causing too much pressure and not enough clarity or pause which then cause what was a little mistake to grow beyond repair. It feels like running round and round in a labyrinth with no way out on sight, where motivation is lost and clouded. But when I recognise the mistake and accept them I can move on and free myself from a prison of my own making, it is like finding a way out of the labyrinth.
Life is made of joyful moments, beautiful moments, exciting moments, boring moments, ugly moments, uncertain confused moments, sad moments, desperate moments. I need to be able to live with all of them, to see life for what it is and have the courage to face and take responsibility for my mistakes and move forward with my life.
An empty broken plastic bottle disturbs the natural perfection of bush roses, still, it does not change the honest beauty of nature beneath.
Blind eyes, open eyes, empty eyes, still, the sun and the moon rise every day and night.
Some of my source of Reflection for this post:
“After the rain
bomb craters filled
with stars” (John Brandi)
“good and bad, happy and sad, all thoughts vanish into emptiness like the imprint of a bird in the sky“. (Quote from the Buddhist text The Sadhana of Mahamudra)
Quote and Haiku both extracted page 31 from the book Haiku Mind by Patricia Donegan.